Bukowski is probably my favorite bad influence. His life and work make me feel hope and defeat at the same time. I get in moods and binge on it. books like Love is a Dog From Hell, I could probably never get sick of. All of it so quotable. I was planning on doing a series of artworks of my influences, and I probably will slowly. But the medium and context won't be consistent. So I don't know how much of a series it'll actually be.
More and more this year I'm starting to feel I'm aging. My body can't handle what it used to, I'm realizing I have to do more on my own. Everybody seems to be having a hard time with it. Childhood is misleading, we're bred with such trust. Work hard and shit's gonna be good. Care about people and shit's gonna be good . But nobody's going to be there like they were. We all miss that feeling. Some of us better at coping than others. We have our friends and our relationships with only as much worth as humanly possible. When you're gone they relate to each other by talking about your questionable actions, and your faults. it's common ground and an always engrossing conversation piece. These are the people who will mean the most to you for the rest of your life, the good ones. I don't know who to feel worse for. But I guess I'll smile and take part
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