brief season

if you don't miss the summer yet I got something that wants you to. I don't particularly care for the concept of either but they're executed well and poignant @ all of you lacking a little more freedom and exuberance with every passing season. of course this is assuming you have 9 minutes to spare outside of your work/school, which you don't. see what I did there?
merry christmas

Wintercoats // Working on a Dream from Feel Good Lost on Vimeo.

Youth Lagoon - Montana from Tyler T Williams on Vimeo.

aw now you're depressed. or you should be. if you're not you're probably a smarmy cynic, in which case you have bigger problems that I don't care about.
anyway for those of you that think borderline crappy nostalgia is gay you can pretend the latter is about danny mcbride wearing a white t-shirt chasing an armyghost and burning stuff. there, now you like it.
I'll be back to post something COOL and verbose about myself soon, don't worry

solstice

I didn't really think about it until today but the idea of photography has slowly become abstract as fuck to me.
It's been so long since I've tried being creative on the terms of someone or something else. I've gotten so used to drawing and painting every day or two that I've forgotten what it's like to express myself by way of manipulating something tangible instead of my own imagination. Time and place are crucial still, but nearly the opposite way in which I'm practiced.
I'm not just manifesting fucked up ideas and shitting something only vaguely relevant to the original thought onto paper. It's a much more physical craft and one I fail to treat with enough merit. but then again
Anyways
I'm enjoying the extended daylight we've been getting
The extra endorphins and realization that prospects are becoming an actuality have kept my general outlook pretty on-color. I'm finding myself drawn to things visually that months ago I would have found repulsive. It's maybe not a radical change of perspective so much as it is a change of light on the same hazy portrait. But that sounds almost ideal

and another thing
I suggest watching the whole series of these if you're into that sort of thing
genuinely interesting, informative and at times really disheartening. but a good watch

Everything is a Remix Part 3 from Kirby Ferguson on Vimeo.

andy scharf is a BA

Kenny Scharf: More,Newer,Better,Nower,Funner! from Levi's Film Workshop on Vimeo.

He's been making (documented) art since 1978, I hope I care that much about anything when I'm his age. I don't have anything of my own to post so that's mainly why it's there.
I've been reflecting I guess, and socializing kind of. I started a much needed RL painting today. feels good. My tablet's been making me lazy and it's handicapping my growth via myself not putting enough effort into the things I make with it. It's experience but still, I don't want to cheapen myself completely. Also a while ago I witnessed a popular artist blatantly rip off one of my favorite artist's earlier work, and completely get away with it. it kind of got me paranoid about my own integrity and work. People ate that shit up. And it's completely disheartening. I mean almost all art is a replication of other art. as is music, film, whatever. Originality is hard because everything is diluted with influence and to create something that's truly never been witnessed before is near impossible. Anyways, that'll always nag at me, but there's little to be done about it so all I can do is watch my own actions and make sure they don't compromise my principles. That's as close to a solution as I'm going to get.

I just went for a walk and it smells like bad nostalgia outside. It got me wondering why in retrospect shit smells like gold. I guess the human brain doesn't have the capacity to make you feel the pain you once did. Mental scars and muscle memory, but nothing physical; nothing you don't readily adapt to. it's all just bittersweet and childish reverence. Like anything else, much more appealing from afar. I'll probably in the future look back fondly at this moment in time right now. People just don't like being in their own shoes. It's stressful and uncertain, but you learn as time goes on that things will never be better than they are in your current situation (barring extreme circumstances). You'll never be as youthful, you'll have more serious responsibilities and definitely worse problems.
the wise choice is to soak it up
but the conscious choice to "soak it up" forces you to acknowledge the fact that things are getting worse by the day
.. which is actually pretty discouraging
and by this point you've long since ruled out reverting to blissful ignorance
shit what did I just do

in lieu of subtlty

Well, it's thursday and I'm sleeping early because I have a greyhound to catch in the morning, so I guess the week's over and I didn't do a lot with it.
real soon I want to start fucking with canvas again. Something more practical for a show if I get in on one in the near future. shouldn't be too big a challenge. I want to start painting more on wood panel or other found material too. I prefer the look to canvas usually. It feels too forced and I'm rarely happy with the end result
perhaps I just haven't gotten into the swing of making use of a fixed-size working area. digital is good for that. It's spoiling


This is dope too. Irrelevant but dope. Theophilus is one of many influences if only in just the way he presents himself. This reminds me how fucking small Victoria is, we don't have any good shops here. There's shitty consignment, overpriced shitty consignment and AA. every trendy "boutique" is headed by some thick ass framed brown wearing bitch who likes to stick her nose up. so busy indulging herself in the siren song of DIVERSITY that she forgets to stand for anything other than her exclusive taste in life and clique of undeserved pretentious nobodys. I mean everybody's an asshole sometimes, I can be blatantly hypocritical on the subject; but I'm talking about the caricature of a gaping asshole.
Whatever. VV fits and it's keeping me from going broke and shopping with these people, who I'm also failing to acknowledge exist in literally every bigger city.
I guess I'm sleepin' now!

swagswagwgasawg

OFWGKTA
keep your eyes open, because you're already seeing this shit everywhere
I'm going to experience this live when I get the chance

betting on the muse

SOWW I almost have enough money for the rebel real quick. That's sweet. I plan on doing quite a bit with it. Also I think I'm starting to write a book of short stories illustrations and personal philosophy. Yeah, I guess that's called a "journal". Excerpts I got so far are about that personal, but I'm not going to keep it hidden away somewhere with a lock and key. Maybe not everyone, but I'll show it to the people I don't think are too pussy to read about something introspective that isn't just neato existentialism . It'll be accumulative, likely sloppy and probably never finished. I've been thinking a lot about it and too many people I know are simply afraid to give credit to strong emotions other than love or happiness. it can be so fucking taboo but I find creatively I get a truckload out of embracing it . Maybe I'm just more of a masochist or some shit but It probably comes with the territory. happiness is ephemeral and at times dishonest(duhr) , you feel like it's on the tip of your tongue but it's on a stick in front of a treadmill. sometimes death is sippin' on a doctor pepper in the guise of life and I don't want to draw a picture or write a book about two people drooling and staring at the sun. I want to write about doctor pepp! I want to read literature I can appreciate and relate to that isn't Bukowski. Get real, Bukowski. I'm sure there's a lot out there but I'd rather stay productive than do "research" which is the opposite of productive. I'm not one of those fags who seek enlightenment instead of dwelling on things that retrospectively don't have to be so big a deal. searching for enlightenment means abandoning all your current and incredibly stable principles, and that is by far the gayest idea I've ever even imagined.
But seriously. As soon as old man Spring comes around I'll get more active and actually enjoy myself. It's the way the year tends to play out. The plan was to stay indoors through the cold season and work on more portfolio shit, and I did. I developed a very important friendship, did a lot of painting and some quasi self improvement.

on a more literal note, this is fucking sweet.
I constantly wonder how I'd cope if I ever lost my vision. This man does a better job than I would. inspiring shit though.

| Artists Wanted | In Focus : Pete Eckert from Artists Wanted on Vimeo.

I guess that's all I've got for you today.
PS

let me get this straigh====

my shitty computer, brain and warmth have been out of commission for the past/next few days.
for the most part kanye and this have been on my mind which i have got no complaints about

london's like a cross between kid cudi and dev hynes and i mean that in the best way possible.
hiphop's just been consistently not shitty lately

boner !!

I drew a picture and wrote a letter to a friend yesterday to occupy myself because I am useless without the internet. basic browsing on my ipod is not cutting it. but it'll keep me busy with more productive things anyway. I'm working a 6 day week but that is just as well because i accidentally spent wastemoney again. oops~
I am excited for christmas even though that means fucking brokemas. if not for christmas and new years i'd kill myself every fall and then again in winter. I have a temp camera now but as I said earlier, no computer. so i'll have to make any use of it sometime later i guess.
I'll get at you later internet. I guess i'll go draw or poop or whatever else I do when I'm not sitting in front of a screen

a cat without pajamas is scarcely a cat

I think pretty soon i need to switch from shitty dollar store acrylics to real acrylics.
yup, that's all i have on my mind right now. I still haven't left the house much.
except to go to the castle and get drunk
ha.
other than that I've been pushing more filler for I don't know what reason. I never spend too much time or effort on any one thing and i can't tell if it's to make up for lost time or just a result of no attention span and/or patience. once I drop enough garbage I'll work my way into it slowly but surely.
Despite having my least favorite album title maybe ever, my beautiful dark twisted fantasy has been stuck in my head a loooot and will be for I hope a while. it was worth the wait.

gobblegobble:

GobbleGobble - Lawn Knives from Ryan Green on Vimeo.

which has been on my radar for a while, had a scheduled show in victoria this month which got cut from their tour, unless I just imagined it on their itinerary. And that blows because I would've gotten out of the house and enjoyed myself and also I haven't been to a show in town for well over a year. suck.

I've got nothing else to poop today. enjoy the shitty weather.

it's pitch black at 5:30 now

and I still have nothing new to show you.
I may be borrowing a camera soon, which is sweet because I'm stockpilin' multiple weekly drawings and paints and putting them on a blog that no one reads will make me feel like I'm doing something with them. I've been watching movies too.


I recommend this movie to almost no one but I thought it was sweet.
It'll make you feel a lot of things and most of them aren't good and it is ridiculously graphic. most would say too graphic, you'll feel very awkward at times and you're weird if you don't.
and I also watched the movie about joaquin phoenix going crazy and doing "coke" off of "hookers" and getting his face "pooped" on in his "sleep". the quotations mean i loved it
Also today I learned via a couple interviews that neckface is retarded. bummer, I can't help but feel kind of stupid for being surprised though:
I had no reason to post today

call it what you wanna call it

so despite having nothing to show for it here I've been fairly productive since my last post. And by that I mean completed one painting and made a large stupid picture for my wall. But did a little of something everyday which is about a 90% productivity increase. hermitted the fuck and remembered how few reachable friends I have which is more evident when days are short and weather is garbage. Halloween was so-so but considering I didn't make any plans that's alright. I may have to actually act on getting employed somewhere new since my hours are cut and I've been craving dollars lately. Tuesdays are absolutely useless to have off, but I badly do not want to downgrade or have my life and energy owned by work sooo I'm probably just going to lazily keep my eyes open.
I guess I have nothing else to write about since I've been doing nothing so I'll post a video that's more engaging than my dumb thoughts. I've never been too big into performance art but execution and results are just sweet as hell.

MADE: Typographic Ballet featuring Ebon Heath & Talib Kweli from hypebeast.tv on Vimeo.

ttyl

the fall

I have an easel now and new paintttt. things to come! And hopefully I'll eventually come in possession of a camera.
alsobirthday was party.
and by that I mean good. no complaints on 21 so far

and I really wish more of the logic of chance sounded like this
The Astounding Earnest Brace (iTunes Bonus Track) by le sac Vs Pip
RICH VS POOR (Japanese Bonus Track) by le sac Vs Pip

london drops ills this month too

You Got The Love from Theophilus London on Vimeo.

gangs of good things to come in october

weakdays more like

So I'm back to the old schedule.
not stoked on almost all new staff, and having to pick up slack, but that's work.
and that's weekdays. they don't really count.
free weekends, dollars, good people, consistent motivation. all I need for the next while
maybe inspiration just comes with experience. you don't learn a thing from the same drill except how to repeat yourself.
i don't even care that summer's dead. next while will be too good to look at clouds

PS
Didn't know anything about this until today
but it's a spinke jonze short and it's good and it's available for stream so watch.

concept and awkward voice acting were a bit of a turn off for imo but if you watch in it's entirety you'll have looked past those things 15 minutes ago

ggggget better

whether or not this interests anybody I'm posting it so I can watch it again later.

if you're not aware of who ralph bakshi is and/or care click

speech applies to almost any kind of work.
Hells inspiring to know someone that influential got to where he is just by bothering to care. People are so quick to bitch that their dreams aren't at their fingertips, when for real they aren't all that far off. You can have all the best ideas in the world but they don't mean a shit if you don't attempt to make them a reality. People won't be amazed by an idea alone. yourself included. Do work, and present it. even if it's garbage you learn from it. In the time I've spent thinking about what I want to do and/or what I need to buy to accomplish it, I could have done.. something. at all.
life in general caters to apathy and it's hard to break free and give a shit. It's hard to get yourself to put hours of labor into something you're not even sure will turn out, but what if it does?

9 times out of 10 theory is cuter than practice

I've been keeping busy lately but today I've got nothing.
for the first time in a couple years I have an internet connection that isn't just via a neighbours half ass unsecure wifi network. soooo good. I'll leave the house a lot less now but probably do more reading and making.
New place is going smoothly. A bit of a walk from downtown but it's worth it. Still only have my computer, xbox, tv, and some clothes unpacked but apparently that's all I need. next few weeks I'm working 6 days, which I don't mind because I'm paying real rent plus internet plus laundry plus hydro again. Doesn't add up to a hell of a lot actually but I'm not going to complain about spare dollars.
Been overthinking waaaay too much in the past, well, ever. Nothing worthwhile either.I guess i've never been good with downtime. I also guess nobody is, but lack of direction makes every minute I'm not socializing or at work downtime. Apathy's a big bitch and it always seems to be creepin'.
in other news:

KAWS gets paid to put Xs on more things


Joaquin Phoenix is a retard on the big screen


and I love good songs with retarded music videos

Pam Bites the Disco from LAND O' GOSHEN on Vimeo.

exaggerated emotions

tgif

COOLRUNNINGS - BURNOUT from Brandon Biondo on Vimeo.

this video is so much better than Coke

I have a new apartment come this weekend.
don't know how well I'm going to ride a year lease again, but I'm not stressed. it'll be nice not to be in limbo again. maybe this place will stay clean even.
hoping I'll be energetic enough to unpack my paints and make something new soon after. honestly don't know how likely it is though. seems like a shame to spend the last half of summer indoors. Hardly picked a pen up at all since I moved out.
but I've been enjoying myself lately. new friends, old friends and alll around good ass times. even work's been pretty top notch. Positivity is key. getting there isn't easy, and I imagine staying isn't any easier
80% waiting for some kind of crash because that's just how things tend to go.
in the meantime i'll enjoy the hell out of it